Sometimes, words simply don’t exist to precisely describe an occurrence or express a specific feeling. The reality is that language can be inadequate. When the right word(s) don’t exist, perhaps it makes sense to create one to better express ourselves in more accurate and meaningful ways.

As we all know, it’s not unusual for language to fall short, and as a result, new words are invented. There is even a term – neologism – for a word that has been newly coined. Neologisms are what inform the evolution of language. Think about it – if you looked in a Merriam Webster dictionary from several years ago, you would likely not find often used and descriptive terms like mansplain, or staycation. While more mainstream these days, webinar and cyberspace must have only evolved with the internet’s role in our lives.

It’s no surprise then that dining room conversations sometimes veer towards neologisms. Take the Krieger family, whose story was recently told in the NY Times. In honor of their patriarch who died of COVID in 2020, the Kriegers are working to have orbisculate included in common dictionaries. The Kriegers have been using orbisculate for generations to describe the phenomenon of a lemon or lime squirting recklessly when it was intended to be a controlled squeeze. The family has gone as far as using it publicly, even on podcasts, believing that expanding its use is the most likely way to have it accepted for inclusion in a dictionary, and to express their experience and honor their father.

In an effort to better express ourselves, our family tried to come up with a way of expressing sympathy where “I’m sorry” was not appropriate when spoken by someone who had no culpability. For example, if you do happen to orbisculate into another’s eye, “I’m sorry” is a completely appropriate apologetic response. But, what if your friend sprained her ankle, or your brother described a date that didn’t go so well? Saying, “I’m sorry,” seems to be an apology, while in fact there is no responsibility. After hearing my daughter’s work story, we debated some options and ultimately came up with maquana. We even debated the spelling and felt like the gentleness of the “qu” rather than a “ck” was fitting. We’ve been using it for a while now and it flows nicely as an expression of sympathy.

Whether or not maquana eventually ends up in the 2030 Merriam Webster, it felt good to know that we had created a way to better articulate our intended expression of compassion. It also helped our daughter who, by the end of the conversation, was laughing rather than worrying about her recent work experience.