And, now that I have children who are adults, and grandchildren who realize that, as adolescents, they know all there is to know about life, it is hard to resist trying to get their attention away from video games and social media by starting a sentence with “when I was your age…”

Of course, that time honored phrase could be the introduction to facts such as:

• TV either wasn’t yet invented or had only four channels and was in black and white.
• An almost addictive TV program after school was “The Howdy Doody Show,” starring Clarabell the clown, Mr. Bluster, Princess Summer Fall Winter Spring, and Buffalo Bob Smith.
• A 40-story building was called a “skyscraper” and considered HUGE.
• Telephones were attached by a wire to the wall, and they could be used ONLY to make calls to people you could not look at. Accompanying them were huge books that listed the phone number of everyone in the city.
• Airplanes had propellers and passengers dressed up as though they were going to a formal dinner party.

In the last few years, I have often left rooms in a cold sweat to avoid saying those things, knowing that if I did, my grandchildren would think I am even more boring and disabled than they had already concluded.

I try to remind myself they don’t care what my life was like at their age – no more than they care how a mastodon, slow and sleepy after just having eaten an injured dinosaur, could protect itself from a hungry saber-toothed tiger.

To ease the pain of knowing that they don’t care what life was like “when I was their age,” I’ve taken to imagining (and being somewhat sadistically entertained by) their frustration when, in 2093 they want desperately to tell THEIR grandchildren what life was like in 2023.

Granted that the contemplation of birth order is, of course, interesting and can enhance scholarly research — especially on envy, resentment, and arrested development — it ALWAYS leads to the observation that grandchildren are both younger than their grandparents and unaware (and unconcerned) about what their grandparents’ lives were like.

The point of these rather mundane observations is to create the challenge of imagining how, in 2093, your grandchildren will finish the sentence that begins “when I was your age…”

In 2093 eternal life might actually be awarded as the prize to someone who best meets this challenge. But, in 2023, the only prize available is being able to brag to your friends about how creative you were in meeting this challenge.

Author’s note: In attempting to meet this challenge, please remember, there are three predictions that have already been taken. Specifically,

When I was your age,

• Pets such as dogs and cats had blood and did not run on atomic power,
• Cars had steering wheels and were controlled by people, and
• Robots worked for human beings. (The most obvious prediction!)

And yes, the truth is, this is all about me – I want to say these things because they amaze and amuse me.