arlier this month (March 2017), David, my son for almost 47 years and my business partner for eight, formally announced his affiliation with The Family Business Consulting Group. While that possibility was a topic of discussion between us for more than a year, it really “hit home” with his e-letter. When I saw the first draft of his letter, it looked great. The next day, I thought there should be a few edits, and then came the final draft. With a smile, I told him it looked like the old bull was going out to pasture. As we talked, David suggested it wasn’t about the message looking like the old bull was heading out to pasture, but about my feeling like the old bull was heading out to pasture. Wow, what an eyeopener!
During the time we’ve consulted together, we’ve had frequent conversations about the sustainability of our own business. The clock never stops ticking and we needed a plan for David’s career to grow as mine slowed down and David’s invitation to join The Family Business Consulting Group allows for just that. As a father, I totally embrace the change and understand it truly is the best of both worlds.
I’m filled with a sense of pride and achievement that our values endured and working together has helped David reach a level of maturity in his career so his professional services will be sustained. I realize it’s not about the continuity of our business, it’s about the continuity of David’s professional knowledge, skill, and experience. I know he’s not leaving me, rather, he’s transitioning to a new level, one that will allow for immense growth and opportunity. I accept this with mixed emotions.
For me, it’s about my being able to manage those emotions. If time had not passed, David would never be in this enviable position. Yet the fact that time has passed presents challenges and a need for acceptance all its own. There is a part of me that has a feeling of sadness -perhaps prompted by a heightened awareness that my grey hair will never be brown again and I can’t reverse the pull of gravity. There’s a feeling of anxiety and loss, akin to when the kids leave the house or get married; they are still our children, but there’s a new stage of life on which they are embarking. I understand it’s not about “leaving,” it’s about “moving forward.”
This reflection on my own feelings provides me with a greater understanding of our clients and the changes on which they embark. Just as the younger generation members advance as the process of succession takes place, so does the senior generation. It’s not so much about letting go as being able to move forward.
As I work to gain a sense of peace and comfort with my own aging and focus on what’s next in my career, I feel better equipped to understand what our senior clients are going through.
Yes, age does take its toll, but this old bull isn’t quite ready to take leave.
Having unwrapped this article from 6-year-old mothballs, I’ve had a further opportunity to reflect on David’s and my transition, a process he designed and led that worked for both of us.
Now, fully retired from consulting family enterprises, it’s not about being “out to pasture,” it’s about focusing on different turf where I roam among trees, sand and water, and an occasional patch of green grass. I’ve also rekindled my love of classic automobiles and am constantly on the prowl for that special driver. I’m stimulating my once young mind re-exploring philosophical and religious writings from college days. And I’m even working with David and his son, Adam, to refine the Multi-Roles Model, a diagnostic tool we developed for family enterprise.